collapse into never

1 June, 2023

Adjala-Tosorontio, Ontario

I find that consistency in time-management can be a daunting practice. I'm definitely one of those who write down scheduled events. Looking forward in the weeks ahead. Maintaining a schedule with limited distractions can feel quite overwhelming at times, especially if you suffer from FOMO. I've improved over time, and I can't tell you how many Indigo calendars* I've purchased for others as birthday gifts, who can't seem to remember our appointments... It also aides in remembering things. I swear short-term memory loss is a factor in this growing age, and thank the heavens for journalling, notes, and the timestamps on our Camera Rolls. It's moving quickly, isn't it?

A Smith is dead, therefore eliminating the possibility of there ever being a true reunion. A memorial service for Kiska went off with a bang. Protesters barged the front entrance of Marineland, the rain fell hard, and snapping a photo with Phil Demers made for a proactive afternoon. The Leafs suck, and I was grateful to be in the building when the nail went into the coffin. The same building where the night before, I shared a historic moment with my older cousins, who the very same, had got me into that specific band when I was only six. From watching music videos in the den, to explaining to them that big city food service isn't as quick and easy as the neighboring townships, it's all happening around us.

Working on a number of shows for Amazon Prime has been a pleasure. Continuing to nerd out on Nazis, haunted castles across the globe, the Spies throughout the Cold War. Yet, you require the time to escape. To get lost in the farmlands that host the memories of once upon a time. To reflect on what's good in life, and what you are forever thankful for. The barn-dog just got into the coup, I should check on this...

Oh, what a glorious date.

*pro tip.

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Drive My Car (2021)

Another cinematic piece that clearly presents Southern Korea's potential. With a lot of buzz surrounding this at TIFF, it was an obvious one to check off the list. The story follows an achieved actor and his relationship with his personal driver as they cruise in and out of the town of Hiroshima. Common conversation regarding standard everyday life stuff, you get a deep look into the character's personal struggles and events. Not wanting to be personally driven, yet having to beyond control, allows the lead to open up and find a deeper meaning within himself. As this little red car moves along, the vibe of communication is enhanced. It's real, and this feature will calm you throughout it's three-hour runtime. Gas is too expensive nowadays, so this makes for a great alternative.

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Ocean Vuong's On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous (2019)

I want to be vague with this, because it's a tremendous book, and I can't recommend it enough. Character struggles with sexuality, new culture, drug use, and Monarch Butterflies that come together to create this unique poetic voice. An explicit love for language that the writer demonstrates. There's a lot of trauma in this, but there's so much beauty and moving moments. The final 50 pages are so emotionally complicated and natural. What are the happiest and saddest days of your life?

'I'm not with you because I'm at war with everything but you.'

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Bittersweet - Lianne La Havas (2020)

Waited to get my hands on this vinyl for a while. Was overjoyed to have finally flipped through and catch the top of her hair on the artwork. This entire record serenades you into a dimly-lit, candled living room accompanied by wine, or you're just dusting the top shelf mid-afternoon. Lianne was a complete treasure to discover (Props, AM), and she brings essence to your listening pleasure. This is the vibe we're all looking for.

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There Will Be Days Like These by Miles Carter

MC guides you through the everyday emotional feels. They fluctuate like mad, but it's important to embrace each passing moment as it will remain special throughout your life. Reminding yourself that you matter in your darkest days can feel so far-out. This is your reality and your life to live, and often we require reminders like this to grasp the importance of our existence. Swallow whole, and gaze upon what's flickering around you.

life at this speed

31 March, 2023

Vanderhoof, British Columbia

Can you feel the climate shifting? I don't know about you, but I feel like winter seems to be starting later and lasting longer. The days seem to overlap and shift focus throughout the consistent travel and work projects. But I am beyond grateful for this life. I've met so many wonderful and intelligent human beings over the last bit. Locals in distant towns, industry experts in their greatest form, and passerbys that live in their element, going about their own. Each one of us has a story and a sense of where we are going. Although often, it can feel as if confusion and comparison override our outlook. Flooded with poison and misguided information from endless media sources, it can be challenging to unplug and be present. I find that once you develop a frame of mind that recognizes the world around us, you can evaluate what's necessary and important. But being introduced to a wide variety of new open doors, can also provide you with a sense of purpose. There is so much to discover and try out in this life, and sometimes we can't always bring ourselves to embark on them. I encourage you to try if nobody else has.

And finally, to you - Nero. You were considered one of the best. We brought you in from the streets and provided a life for you (one of which that may not have lasted this long), and you quickly became a fan favorite. I'm going to miss every single piece of food fed to you, backyard rummaging, and breathe-blows your way. Fly free, Nero. The perfect cat. RIP.

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Athena (2022)

French flick depicting the riots that ensue, following the police beating & murder of a young boy. The child's older brother constructs a gang together to voice their anger and hatred, and the film demonstrates the fall of a dystopia's authoritative figures. The opening scene ALONE, will most likely make Cinematography history (Thank you, BZ!). For those who don't love the idea of following subtitles, this film pulls you in so heavily that you barely even realize you're watching a movie. The audience is witnessing a real civil battle, immersed so closely to the action. A magnificent job well done by the cast & crew. La Resistance, lives on.

Cue the Anti-Flag...

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Jason M. Colby's ORCA - How We Came To Know and Love the Ocean's Greatest Predator (2018)

With the recent passing of the known 'World's Loneliest Orca' Kiska - most likely the first killer whale I had ever seen live in-person, I wanted to take a deep dive into the species to learn more. Colby's text reveals a complete breakdown of the facts and history. The compelling story of Namu, and how scientists/researchers grabbed hold of the very first opportunity to study this gentle creature. A fitting read lately when further and further news and awareness is brought into the public eye about their risk of extinction. I am Humbled to be in the presence of arguably the most powerful, intelligent and spiritual animal species ever to reside in the sea.

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Hope - Reader (2018)

I remember discovering this band maybe three years ago and to be honest, I've never slowed down with playing this banger at it's loudest potential. It's easily one of my all-time favorite tunes. The pace it begins with really sets the listener up for a firmly-structured track, and a beyond perfect energy throughout. With the combination of effects, blissful vocals, and a monumental riff-break to close the curtain, I simply don't think I will ever tire of this one. And to find out they were from Hamilton, made life that much sweeter. Though I never got to catch them live, one can only place a smidge of hope in a [often] hopeless life. 'Cause you have gotta realize that I'm never gonna feel the same as you'.

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Home by Whitney Hanson

A poem about feeling away from your home. Your sense of comfort and familiarity. For some of us, that might be somewhere geographical. Maybe it's a specific time in the past? How about a person? Hanson, along with her drop-dead gorgeous, multi-colored eyes delivers a driving message to watch the sunset to, and dream about your place of home. To reflect on those who made us whole. I think we've all felt this way in our lives. Throughout our busy lives, no matter what - home is in our hearts. Embrace it.

ellie, you'll be okay

2 February, 2023

Mystic Beach, British Columbia

I hope LaCroix drops a multi-pack soon. This beach has been on the bucket list for quite some time now. It was worth all the mud and ferry rides and Evo shares and this and that. I think the VPD may actually have me as a saved contact by now. A perfect few hours alone on this coast was cleansing in so many ways. Fido dinged me for a US charge being here, so maybe note-to-self to enable airplane mode next time. I turned 30 recently. A nail in the coffin of my forever youth. It was an absolute pleasure to be surrounded by all my friends and family in the same room for an evening of laughs, underage boozing, and watching unlikely characters engage in DEEP conversation amongst one another (ie; Aiden & Becker). It's also great to see lost souls peeking in on your stories in the midst of it all from a distant land. I really can't believe we have to talk about such things in this day and age... I need new Vans, mine are soaked. To more journal writing, blogging, little bit from column A, lil from column B... Thank you to everyone who came out to the hop and continue to support from this coast forth.

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Dreamland (2020)

Every townie kid's dream of finding that one true love who happens to be a felon, and you both commit a series of robberies together. The cinematography work in the hotel bathroom scene alone was enough to keep me engaged and in awe. I loved Peaky Blinders, so this was a great spin into Evan's character portrayal. I really wish I lived on a farm. This is a really slick flick. The ending was... uhh, you be the judge.

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Hanya Yanagihara's To Paradise (2022)

This was a massive beast to get through. Though, I'd been looking forward to this one ever since reading Hanya's A Little Life, which quickly became my favorite piece of literature ever? To Paradise consists of three books that span over a decade, and demonstrates a Utopia in the US that provides detailed insight into the character's lives. Tales of family, race, sex and a deadly virus sweeping the nation. The struggles throughout, and the letters exchanged between characters are so genuine and real, you find yourself lost in this novel, continuously trying to find your own paradise on earth when you put down the book.

Mental health check - is there even one?

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If You Let It - Sioux Falls (2016)

Now known as Strange Ranger, this entire record is a goldmine, thank you AP. That nostalgic feeling you get when you're a complete misled youth, and you don't quite fit in anywhere. The belting vocals, the skateboards riding down the street at night.. it's all so illuminating and real. Hope to stumble upon this one on wax someday. I can't tell you how many times I've thought I've seen this album cover in real life. Ellie, it'll be interesting to see where you wind up in 20 years - but you really were special.