23 December, 2023
Physically, emotionally drained with the wounds to prove it. Mentally? Spiritually? Never felt more fulfilled. The arms stretch wide to receive love and grateful for it. These final days on this adventure for me, were very much vulnerable. The kindest gesture from a local, or the lyric to a song would bring me to tears. A lot of people ask me 'Why?" And that was something I began pondering since my passion for travel began. I've never been able to answer wholeheartedly, because I knew it would change.
At the end, this "Why" seemed really simple. I wanted to discover so much of the roads less travelled. The amount of time alone lets you process things that nothing else really comes close to. Asking yourself questions in the ample amount of quiet space to fully provide answers to them. I don't personally believe in "I'm better now, because of this" because I realized at a real early age that it's not about becoming better. What you allow yourself to experience and give forth is the premise to the moment. Whatever that moment was - good or bad. And actually loving myself and my possessions in those moments of exposed situations. How I handle forks in the road when nobody is physically there. I think everything in the world is about just having confidence in who you are at any given moment, you know?
Watching your good friend being kept alive by machines lays its heavy affect on a human. You can't quite figure it out - the how. You stand by and wish there was something you could do, but it's simply life shaping in front of you. It's gut-wrenching. I miss you dearly, TS. There have already been countless things that have happened since that prove you're up there helping us out. Thank you for putting a smile on this aging face over the years. 'Why can't I just pull up to your crib and see you right there?' Ride the sky.
I will keep the rest of this internal narrative to myself, but I just wish to say that the life lessons from all of this, are something I can cherish forever. Not to mention the people I met along the way, those who took the time to reach out, text, DM; you all lifted me up. (And a special shoutout to Apple for building phones that can sit out in the snow for fifteen hours and not die).
I pray that those Christmas traditions you once practiced, still remain intact.
The Killer (2023)
Yoga & The Smiths, how could it go wrong? The path of revenge for the act of violence to a loved one. Fincher demonstrates a patient film with a defining voiceover that establishes self-struggle, a mindless gaze from the lead that makes you feel his pain, and his wisdom of anticipation. I love the idea of keeping your mind focus while you wait, and wait. Split-second decisions create a whirl of chaos in this flick. How the character reacts is tense and ongoing, leaves you at the edge even for a slow burn.
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (1988)
Finally got around to this. The story of a young traveller who embarks on a quest for treasure, while demonstrating the concept of personal legends and belief within. A lot of life lessons in this one. To express these traits to others along your way, and observing this undefying notion of oneness. This novel emphasizes the pursuit of your dreams, and I can't stress enough that it encourages quite the motive with it's symbolic story. A great tool for the reader to idolize Universal Language and believe of a path moving forward.
The Japanese House, Justin Vernon - Dionne
Watching this live was worth everything.
The fact that I'll never tire of this track is really special. Clever lyrics mixed perfectly with a beat that eases your trouble, these two have created a masterpiece beyond measure. 'Your past becomes your present if it's always on your mind' like, c'monnnnn.
Take this song, crunch it up into a little ball, shuv-it in your pocket and take it everywhere you go.
The Same Sea by Samantha Reynolds
I had my final swim of the year in the ocean surrounded by whales. Not in my green skirt, but the sheer force (yet gentleness) of the water is forever ripe for a dive. The echoes shared in the same abyss as you, pure blackness to an unknown existence. I've often said that the ocean is just space in reverse. And then, from out of nowhere, you witness the stillness of these creatures while you remain in your element. How we all share this same planet, is pure magic.